calls of the wind

Questions

2008-07-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

I wonder if it’s worth the wait

I wonder if it’s worth the try

sitting here beside a lake

asking myself why?

Why am I in this mess?

why am I hoping rain would fall?

adding up to my distress

acting like a big fool

Fool enough to believe in tomorrow

fool to believe promises are true

that the future is as enchanting as the rainbow

and free of sorrow too

But life does not work that way

it is not what it seems

lived from day to day

I can only dream

I dream of a love that’s everlasting

I dream of a love that is real

a love that is unending

basking in happiness, it’s making me feel

I feel care that is so sweet

I feel love full of enchantment

don’t know where this will lead

enveloped all over with magic.

Disbelief

2008-07-23T14:48:00.000-07:00

I can’t believe...

I feel this way

for someone who is far away

why can’t I fall for someone near

so everything will be so clear

I can’t believe...

I think this way

that you would come back and stay

promises you’ve been saying

yet leaving me still hanging

I can’t believe...

I’m all alone

when some have come along

maybe because I am waiting for you

hoping dreams would come true

I can’t believe...

I’ve waited this long

to realize what I am doing is wrong

clinging on to this absurd dream

when you don’t do what you mean

Yet...

I can’t believe

I’m doing this

jumping into a big risk

telling you of what I feel

wishing you’ll realize that its all for real.

2008-07-23T14:45:00.002-07:00

Why is this happening?

when I feel like something is ending,

start its hasn’t even been,

yet, feels like was blown by the wind.

So confused it’s making me feel,

of things that are not even real,

why then do I feel so far,

when in reality you are so near.

It’s making me think all over again,

if this is worth my thought and will,

when all it does is make me confused,

of the emotions I feel.

Sometimes, I feel I have to move on,

drop everything behind

however, in time I will be going back again,

supply answers to questions left hanging.

Wishing...

2008-07-23T14:44:00.000-07:00

I wish it is easy to say goodbye

I wish it is better to cry

I wish things were not opened up

I wish visions of you have never come up

I wish it is easy to forget

I wish this is all but a dream

I wish I will wake up one day

I wish things were the way they were.

Deep into the night

2008-07-23T14:40:00.000-07:00

Deep into the night

I look for a refreshing sight

gazing at the dark sky

wishing to find answers in the stars.

Deep into the night

came a gush of cold wind

I hugged myself in a wrap

as tears slowly dropped.

Deep into the night

a sudden downpour came

barefoot, I walked outside

rain came pouring down.

Deep into the night

the rain stopped

I walked and walked

a tree I came across

Deep into the night

the wind simmered down

weariness came over me

I sat under the tree

Deep into the night

the sky opened up

stars came out again

I stayed there and slept.

Tears

2006-05-23T14:06:00.000-07:00

I wanted to fall down your face

washing away the pain

but you held me in place

you held on to stay sane

That wouldn't have been my option

would have wanted you to be free

of all the binding emotions

and the future you will be able to see

But you preferred to keep it in

all choked up, unable to breathe

the pain escalating within

kept comfort at arm's length

You can only be strong for so long

putting up a brave front and all

in time you would have to move along

give way and allow the tears to fall

2006-05-23T12:57:00.000-07:00

A little honesty is all I ask
but I was deprived of such
to you it may seem like a Herculian task
but to me it would mean much

But honest you have never been
chose to deny anything
an end would have been seen
and not stuck in this feeling

Why hide?
why deny?
keeping me on the side
I always wondered why

Afraid to hurt me?
or I was in no position to know
the truth I now see
I am walking towards tomorrow

2006-05-23T12:54:00.000-07:00

I cried my last cry

shed my last tear

ready to say goodbye

face tomorrow with no fear

It's a long time coming but it's now

would have been earlier had I been aware

maybe a part of me knew somehow

but I just didn't dare

When is letting go ever easy

I don't think it will ever be

I think it's but a fallacy

if one knows it to be true then tell me

Admittedly, it's still a ball of confusion

only time will erase

letting go of the emotion

counting on the days

2006-05-17T17:16:00.000-07:00

We could have been the perfect cliche
friendship begets to love
but I felt you slipping away
now friendship is all we have

The memories still seem real to me
I look back at them and smile
but a distant memory is what it's going to be
that realization hurts, I'm not going to lie

I could have spared myself the pain
shouldn't have allowed you in my life from the start
but I placed myself under the rain
now, there's a hollow feeling in my heart

Was it wrong for me to believe
that forever with you was for me
was everything just an illusion
and I was just too blind to see

Tried to cling on to every morsel of hope
but my eyes are open now
I think we have reached the end of our rope
need to let go of it somehow

2006-05-17T17:09:00.000-07:00

Love transcends to friendship

longed for this to happen to me

it took time and hardship

but I am where I wanted to be

I still care

with all my heart

but gone are the fears

that might tear me apart

Look into your eyes

with no tinge of pain

smile with the sunrise

after walking through the rain

2006-03-28T15:07:00.000-08:00

Things happen for a reason
the One above only knows
it's not for us to question
for I don't think we will ever know

The smiles, the tears
the people I meet
all interconnected
to make me complete

There's a reason why I cry
a reason why I smile
I may not exactly know why
but the answer will come in time

2006-03-28T14:25:00.000-08:00

Try to listen

to what I have to say

it may be painful

but its the only way

Listen to me with your heart

don't hear me with your ear

you'll realize it makes a difference

when decision time is near

Close your eyes

open your heart

let me in

allow me to say my part

I may have loved you

before I realized

you have walked away

couldn't make you stay

It may be late

you still need to know

the feeling was there

I just didn't let it go

Did what I had to do

what I thought was right

at that time the concept was nice

now I have to pay the price

I may have been scared

didn't know what to do

now I only have the memories

to remind me of you

2006-03-28T14:17:00.000-08:00

Tonight, my last tear fell
tomorrow, I will be well
so many emotions bottled inside
now, free and cast aside

Up until now I was confused
acceptance of the reality, I refused
when I did, it was a gush of fresh wind
dark clouds hovering above me lifted

I see you now in a new light
grateful that you were once in my life
learned a lot inspite of the confusion and pain
now marks the day I can feel again

It's not going to be easy but I know I can
for the One above has a different plan
it may have included you one point in time
the space you occupied will now be for someone

Journal entry

2006-03-24T14:55:00.000-08:00

When in need of a friend who will listen

in need of a friend who will care

when another person is nowhere

I am here that will always be there

Let me share your pain and laughter

allow me to be there

for I will listen forever

and I can also care

Your secrets are safe with me

your tears I will only see

your joys, I'll help you remember

put into your life some laughter

I'll help ease your anger

help soothe your pain

your thoughts I will always remember

keep things you will treasure forever

There is just one thing I cannot do

give you advice even if I want to

I guess, all I can do is listen

to lighten up the burden

2006-03-23T17:37:00.000-08:00

This is what I get for believing in dreams
a big hole deep within
curable only in time
putting my sanity on the line

A lot of times, I wished to take it back
be back on the track
regress into the past
run back so fast

Escaping maybe dealing the coward way
but it's the only way I know to stay
the same person that I am
before this whole charade begun

That time when I was a whole person
when living was the only reason
happy by myself
contented with life itself

Now there's nothing I can do
to go back no matter how much I want to
a lot of things have happened
just waiting, hoping it would soon end.

For My Papa

2005-06-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

A Father’s Love

Sometimes you are here,
Sometimes you are not.
At times you are near,
There are times you are far.

You may not always be there in times of misery,
But you are, to achieve a home full of harmony.
You taught us to decide on our own,
Gave us the courage to stand alone.

You are there that we can call,
Each time that we will fall.
You are there to help us stand,
And experience life the best we can.

You opened our eyes to reality,
To the world’s cruelties,
So when we step into the world and take our part,
We won’t have to walk in the dark.

You have taught us a lot,
May you be present or not.
We have all the great things in life,
And the best of them is your love.....
A Father’s Love.

Lost

2005-05-19T11:32:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt
Like a bubble in the wind
Floating aimlessly
As the world changes beneath

Have you ever felt
Like an apple amidst the oranges
Not a whole lot different
Yet still out of place

Have you ever felt
Like a shell on a stranded beach
Watching the tides’ highs and lows
Yet somehow stuck to the sand

Have you ever felt
Like a rainbow after the rain
An array of vibrant colors
Yet at times an arc half full

Have you ever felt
Like the sun during a solar eclipse
The rays to its maximum strength
Yet overshadowed by darkness

Have you ever felt
Like a song on the radio
Played endlessly
Is someone listening, no one knows.

Have you ever felt
Like a piece in a puzzle
Without your tiny self
The picture just doesn’t seem to gel.

2005-05-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

Once I was afraid
To fall in love
So afraid to take a leap
For you might just break my heart

Cautious to see
The other love around me
Hesitant to explore
Contented with the familiar

Then come to think of it
For some strange twist of fate
The love I thought I had from the start
Would be the one to break my heart.

2005-05-19T11:27:00.000-07:00

Enclosed in this tiny space
a ray of light penetrated my gaze
I took a peek at the tiny gap
saw the goodness and badness the world is wrapped

Two forces are pulling me apart
each, determined to make a mark
one wants me to see the world through ideals
while the other wants me to face what is real

The world seem so perfect through the gap
that I want to feel them in my grasp
then, just as I was about to
fear is holding me back

Then, I asked myself, will I be happy in this world
where pain is part of its domain
the cruelties of the world all around me
slowly, fear crept inside me

I feel like being in the middle of a crossroad
not sure where to go
then again, this is what life is all about
tears, joys, confusion, part of its clout.

2005-04-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

Love made you blind
from the truth
from the reality
in front of you lies

Love made you deaf
from the wisdom
from the effort
to open your eyes

Love made you mute
from saying
from shouting
the feelings pent up inside

Love made you numb
from the hurt
from the pain
it had caused you

Love made you forget
the innocence
the child
that was once you

Love took you away
from your family
from your friends
everyone who cared you put aside

Love made you naive
you allowed yourself to become all these
when that love is gone
what would you become?

2005-04-26T10:20:00.000-07:00

No one really knew the depth of it
Carefully hidden underneath
Realization came like a gush of cold wind
Wished had the foresight of its end.

Hoped it was as clear as a crystal ball
It was indeed but was encased in walls
Difficult to see the other side
Extinguished in no time

Lessons learned after all these
Never walk someone else’s dreams
Or lose one’s self in the equation
Rise above the confusion

The sun intensifying its ray
Wake up at a dawning of a new day
Face a not so easy task
Had to without being ask.

Memories of that Night

2005-04-21T10:59:00.000-07:00

Memories of the night
still trapped in my mind
haunting, puzzling with all its might
not allowing me to get off this ride

Pain, fresh as ever as each day comes
seeking closure for things left undone
with each day, the more numb I become
so lost in this puzzle, hoping to just run

Somehow, cannot bring myself to cry
nor be angry or even shout
with reason, with force, eyes still dry
painful it was without a doubt

So many things left hanging
not in sight the beginning of its end
through all the gibbers exchanging
so many words still left unsaid

Looking back, wishing, hoping
an end would have been seen
perhaps wishful thinking
wake up from this neither nightmare nor dream.

If only deep slumber can make a difference
be able to sleep through it
make a circle of defenses
a whole new world I can create.

A Day In March

2005-04-21T10:57:00.000-07:00

So many I need to say
before I go on my way
too much emotion, effort and time
most of all, putting my sanity on the line.

Words left unsaid,
matters left undone,
just leave things hanging,
than to be forever waiting.

Shouldn’t have trusted,
shouldn’t have believed
no one else to blame but myself
getting involved in this whole charade.

Too scared?
or totally unprepared?
whatever it is...
the truth, I only seek.

But truth proved too elusive,
too out of grasp,
shielded so much by facade,
buried underneath all that crap.

Day by day, I grow number
amazed how I even bother
urging myself to stay
until it becomes difficult to get away

Couldn’t shed a tear,
yet, couldn’t stop to care
staring at a blank wall,
no one there to catch my fall.

Trust you, I did
was met however by a cold wind
left behind to pick up the pieces
remnants of broken promises.

I need to rise above
before I cannot anymore love
or care or even feel
for I sure deserve something real.

Move on I must do
face the music without you
hard as it may, but I need
turn the other way and leave.

Through all things here and gone,
after all that’s been said and done,
still one thing left to say,
Goodbye and maybe we’ll see again someday.

2005-04-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

Who knows if this is even real,
relying on what I feel.
Who knows if this is even true,
for this may just make me blue.

Who am I to argue if this is real or not
hold back emotions, I cannot
this feeling, who knows if it’s even love
has somehow found its way to my mind and heart

Try as I may, I can no longer stop
from feeling like I’m over the top
funny how a hello could make me feel better
or how I can hear my own laughter.

I would not really know until I give it a chance
a feeling like this may only come once
not going to make the same mistakes as before
when I did not face it and chose to ignore.

2005-04-11T10:34:00.000-07:00

I gazed outside and found a star
wished so deeply, you are not this far
opened my eyes, hoping you are near
was met however by a crisp cold air.

With that breeze, a realization came
to be contented with what is clear
don’t know any other way to make it easier
nor any means to make you nearer.

With all these uncertainties, one thing is sure
you’re in my heart, I deeply treasure
I live through the day knowing
you are there caring.

Path

2005-04-08T10:48:00.000-07:00

Walked the same path again and again
Hoping each time it was a different ending
However, I find myself
Back to the same place I left

Maybe its time to take a different path
Veer to the left or to the right
Anywhere as long as I don’t walk again
The path where it all began

The path has become thorny, sometimes dark
Walking through it alone, not my idea of lark
A sunny, rosy path in sight
That is one nirvana I wouldn’t mind

What path I walk is upon me
I choose the sights I want to see
Leave behind a cold, wintry night
Walk towards and embrace a beautiful sunlight.

Restless Soul

2005-04-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

The restless soul
went in and out of the plane
don’t know which path to take
what turn to make

The restless soul
went out to sea
became one with the tide
on this icy night

The restless soul
went up to the mountains
became one with the trees

and swayed with the leaves.

A Little Scared

2005-04-05T10:57:00.000-07:00

I’m still a little scared of things beyond my control
Still a little scared of looking like a big fool
Still a little scared of matters unknown
Wishing some day they will be known

I’m still a little scared of things that are not even real
Still a little scared of the emotions I feel
Still a little scared of the future coming fast
Hoping that one can always live in the past

I’m still a little scared of the thoughts in my mind
Still a little scared of the events happening around
Still a little scared of the dawning of a new ray
Praying that life can be dealt with from day to day

I’m still a little scared of the feelings within
Still a little scared of thoughts spinning
Still a little scared that everything is just a dream
Waiting for the day that it will be real like it seem.

Summer Afternoon

2005-03-31T12:47:00.000-08:00

One summer afternoon
curled up in my little room
went about my usual day
but was rocked by a glowing ray

That same sunny summer afternoon
you gave your heart and mind
I wanted to give the same thing
but I stepped back and think

From that summer afternoon, my life was not the same
pulled together I was till then
thoughts came spinning
feelings, so fast came surging

Since that summer afternoon,
it was a love unrequited
then came one day
I decided to let it all fly away

On that summer afternoon, things again didn’t stand still
word came from heart and will
I not only think I love you
I feel in my heart, I really do

Now where does this lead us to?

Not Meant To Be

2005-03-31T12:28:00.000-08:00

Why am I not meant for you?
When my heart says I do.
Why am I walking this way?
While you are walking away

Our paths crossed once upon a time
Why is it not crossing this time?
Our hearts beat as one
Now you are telling me “I am not the one”.

“Yes you are!” I urged you to see
But you insist it cannot be
Held your hand in my heart, feel it beating
You looked away and said “I’ll be leaving”

I stood in that very spot with all my might
Until you were out of my sight
I asked myself what happened
Why did it have to end?

My heart knotted in pain
As my tears fell with the rain
Torrents, downpour, the raindrops came
Catching a glimpse, maybe you’ll appear again

But you never did, left me all alone
To figure out what went wrong
Maneuvering through this confusion
Trying to find answers to my questions

I don’t know how to heal my heart
Don’t know where to start
Can’t find the reason why I should
Not sure if I ever could

Strangers gazed at me with curious eyes
As I ask myself…have I been living a lie?
Which were the truths? Which were not?
I am back again to this very spot

I don’t know where you are
Whether you are near or far
Are you going through the same feeling?
Are you still walking?

To understand, I tried
Until my tears have dried
Efforts to paint a picture are futile
Looks like I will be here for a while.

Instant Message

2005-03-30T11:27:00.000-08:00

An all too familiar sight
Day in, day out
Waiting for that square to come out
Bring the present to a sudden halt.

Hide it… stare at it
The power’s in my hands
I can ignore or open the door
A world waiting to explore.

At times I know I should ignore
That all too familiar, blue, blinking light
But it is teasing and taunting
Clicking on just seems right.

I see again those three letters
That spells more than what it seem
A signal of a beginning
Its ending, no one is telling.

A slew of letters come barging
Overwhelming me with its might
Sometimes letters just trickle down
What’s that all about?

Emotions behind those words
I can only speculate
I can be wrong
Then I can also be right.

A slow and long parting
Or an abrupt end
The window disappears
As swiftly like it came.

Give Me A Reason

2005-03-30T11:09:00.000-08:00

…a wrong thing to say
…a girlfriend you wouldn’t name
…a letter, a call, a hearsay or two
…just give me a reason to get over you

…be rude, be crass
…be the person of my past
…drop out from the face of the Earth
…just give me a reason I can live with

…make me sad or even angry
…send tears to my eyes
…make me not love you
…just give me a reason to live without you

…don’t be nice
…do turn my heart to ice
…don’t be the person that you are
…just give me a reason to stay so far

…say the wrong things
…or don’t say anything at all
…you can even push me away
…just give me a reason to stay away

…stay away from me
…your face I wouldn’t see
…or just don’t say hello
…just give me a reason to let you go

…say you never loved me
…say you never cared
…say you want to be left alone
…just give me a reason to move on.

Rose

2005-03-28T12:43:00.000-08:00

It was a wintry and lonely moment of the night
I found myself standing upright
A tiny, little bud waiting to bloom
In a world smeared with gloom

Scared as I am, I have waited and waited
To futher explore life, now unaided
It's time to face the realities of life
Learn to decide between wrong and right

Petals are starting to open to the light
To the splendors of life, with colors all bright
Roots already planted firmly on the ground
To prevent myself from falling around

Burgeoning is not that easy to do
So many factors are holding me to
I cannot do all of these on my own
Thus, I have a lot of people with whom I owe

People who helped in one way or the other
Patiently attending to my every bother
I hope they are proud to see
What has become of me

Seventeen years of waiting
For this wonderful and special event to happen
With petals now fully bloomed out
Stems tall enough for me to stand around

Different as I may be
People close and afar are still eager to see
Who would think that the rose they now see
Was the same tiny, little bud that used to be me.

Written 11 years ago today.

Love Story

2005-03-28T10:32:00.000-08:00

Here I am all alone
the bright star shone
gazing at a place with no end
around me was a tranquil wind

Amidst the sand
I walked and walked
the sun was up with all it’s glow

here I am not knowing where to go

Sitting on a fallen log
I looked up and asked GOD
what am I doing here?
why is everything so unclear?

I continued moving by the sea
as waves crashed to me
asking myself a question
am I alone in this situation?

Turning to myself, I asked
how long will things last
praying to put matters to rest

to stop this unbearable quest.

Gazing at the sun once again
searching the horizon’s end
from far beyond I came to see
there’s someone out there sitting on a tree.

Feeling hopeless, I stood up
wishing things to end with a clap
gazing a place as far as my eyes can see
I saw someone by the sea

I breathed a long, deep sigh
my lips forming to a smile
running as fast as I can

hoping to reach the other land

Gazing at each other’s face
we met at this special place
here where happiness once reigned

magic relived for together we are once again.

Friends? or more

2005-03-28T10:20:00.000-08:00

We’ve gone too far to be just friends
yet not near for things to end
I don’t know where we stand
a stage so hard to ignore and understand

People ask the real score
a question I chose to ignore
for one it’s none of their business
and frankly I don’t know what the answer is

Sometimes I have the urge to ask
are we or are we not
however, I try to hold back
the pride I can swallow is not much

Still come to think of it
for how long do we have to wait
until one of us makes the move and realize,
or until feelings have been forgotten and have died?

I ask you now and answer me please
For I want tranquillity and peace
I swallow my pride and reach out again
do we end or do we begin?

Days of Summer

2005-03-25T10:57:00.000-08:00

It’s the first day of summer
I don’t know where you are
you said you’d call
my phone has not rung at all

Its the first week of summer
still patiently waiting for you
I have finished reading a 2 volume book
and have waded along the brook

Its the first month of summer
your call finally came through
you said you’ll be running late
things will just have to wait

Its the last month of summer
you still haven’t come
not a shadow nor a light
just a cold and empty night

Its the last week of summer
I gazed at the stars
you said you’d come
I opened my door but found no one

Its the last day of summer
I have come to face reality
then a light from afar simply glowed
is that you?...I don’t know.

Maybe...

2005-03-25T10:55:00.000-08:00

Maybes are flooding my mind
a swirl of uncertainty lies before me
no stars twinkling
nor a sun shining

Maybe you’ve changed your mind
maybe you’ve grown tired
maybe you are just busy
or maybe it was not meant to be

Maybe I’ll cry
when you walk away
maybe I won’t
at least I learned my way

Maybe I’ll wait
until we are face to face
maybe I won’t
and just let you drift away

Maybe it’s not time
for me to feel this way
maybe it is
but I opted to shy away

Maybe I don’t really love you
I only thought I was
maybe I do
but was only scared to ask

Maybe our chance had passed
an opportunity lost
maybe it has not come
and our paths may soon cross

Maybe I can go on and on
until this list is long
maybe it ends here
put an end on everything

Maybe...
Maybe...

Storm

2005-03-25T10:54:00.000-08:00

Above me was a dark and starless night sky
around me, gush of wind came passing by
torrents of rain feel from the heavens
and I quickly looked for a temporary haven.

I waited for the rain to stop,
as I hugged myself in a wrap.
But the rain never did,
and stronger came the crisp evening wind.

The crack of lightning, the sound of thunder,
made me stood there in wonder,
what made them so angry?
it was impossible for me not to worry.

I have to fight,
walk through it with might.
I have to be strong,
these are just one of the storms that will come along.

I ran...
as fast as I can.
I jumped...
told myself not to stop.

The rain poured...
thunder roared...
specks of lightning blocked my way
the wind made me sway.

Finally, I reached the end of the road.
a bright light slowly showed,
the sun was on its way
intensifying its bright ray

I survived the storm,
went through the gloom,
triumphant, I emerged
a smile on my lips prevailed.

Card

2005-03-24T10:26:00.000-08:00

Leafed through letters last night
A torn card came into sight
Hands shaking, read through the lines
Didn’t know whether to smile or cry

My face lit up
As I read through
Bowling me with your wit
Your insights, your sarcasm too

I smiled and laughed
Until my world came to a sudden halt
A heartfelt declaration
Too good to be true

Then the smile disappears
As I did some thinking
What ever happened?
Why it ended when it should begin.

Wish

2005-03-24T10:23:00.000-08:00

Why do I wish?
To find you there
Each time I open the door

Why do I wish?
To hear your voice
Each time someone would call

Why do I wish?
To receive a mail
Each time my inbox rings

Why do I wish?
To see you
Each time I would dream

Why do I wish?
To feel your warmth
Each time nights get cold

Why do I wish?
To be in your arms
Each time life gets tough

Why do I wish?
To even wish
Each time a shooting star passes by

Why do I wish?
To even ask why
When answers are nowhere
Not even in the sky.

Heart & Mind

2005-03-23T13:07:00.000-08:00

My heart belongs to someone
But that someone doesn’t know
Kept everything inside
Can’t seem to let it go.

My mind belongs to someone
That someone is all I think about
Fills up my consciousness
Day in and day out

My heart belongs to someone
That someone doesn’t feel
This feeling, overwhelming
Seems too good to be real

My mind belongs to someone
But that someone doesn’t read minds
Clueless…oblivious
He will know for sure in time

My heart belongs to someone
That someone may not believe
Its hold overpowering
Much more than what it seem

My mind belongs to someone
That someone may not comprehend
Why realization took this long
And why it has to end

My heart belongs to someone
But that someone’s heart is not mine
Accept that painful truth
And hope the wounds will heal in time.

Irony

2005-03-23T12:56:00.000-08:00

Together
yet still apart
Collected
fear fills the heart

Revealed
some words still unspoken
Out in the open
feelings need further unveiling

Composed
thoughts spinning
Confident
emotions uncertain

Logical
happiness abounds the heart
Emotional
will steps in to take part

Free
love bottled inside
Calm
thoughts and feelings in chaos

Aware
yet still blind
Unsure
Feelings pouring from inside

Letting Go...

2005-03-22T10:41:00.000-08:00

I thought
forgetting
was as easy
as crying

or the same as
not thinking

then I realized
my thoughts
were wrong

coz no matter
how much
I try

I can never
really forget

I can only
LET GO.

Soulmates...

2005-03-22T10:38:00.000-08:00

Soulmates...
whatever that is
if it does even exist
might just be a figment of one’s imagination
based upon empty illusion

Soulmates...
not really knowing where it came from
may have been dropped from the sun
caught by a hopeless romantic
passed on in such a panic

Soulmates...
if indeed it’s true
how does it even come through
heart to heart or mind to mind
heart and mind perhaps but in its own time

Soulmates...
why the search for one
when a possibility is there could be none
come to think of it, what if there is indeed
a person’s destiny mapped out in the field

Soulmates...
how would one ever know?
when there aren’t signs to show
based upon existing emotions
yet felt strongly for just one person

Soulmates...
when you hear the echoes of your laughter
the throbbing of your heart
feels like stars fell from the heavens
in front of you standing, staring

Soulmates...
when thoughts are one
awkward silence, there’s none
not even distance can come between
two people in such a spin

Soulmates...
not a mirror of the other
but two individuals coming together
bonded by similarities
brought together by differences

Soulmates...
it will come no need to search
for mind and heart can only teach
when feelings and thoughts become one
you know you have found that someone.

2005-03-21T15:16:00.000-08:00

I sit in my room, gazing
as raindrops fall
wind came breezing in
a near yet distant call

I opened the window
arms stretched out to the rain
drops came streaming down
remembering all the pain

Rain came
as tears rolled
cursing to no end
why allowed myself be fooled

Fooled by the thoughts of you
by the face, by the voice
feelings came surging
left with no real choice.

2005-03-21T14:33:00.000-08:00

If only I could stop listening,
to the calls of the wind.
If only I could stop from feeling
the emotions herein.

If only I could stop thinking
of how it is to see you again.
If only I could stop pondering,
what could you be doing.

If only I could stop asking,
is this a dream or real?
If only I could stop seeing
your face in my dream.

If only I could go on living
in this tiny, little world.
If only I can prevent waking,
from this lovely realm.

If only I can go on walking,
in this world of “if only’s”.
If only there’s a point of stopping,
I would have yielded long ago and moved on.